la la land

Anonymous asked: so, I've read your posts about women stepping out and making the first move to begin a relationship. what are your thoughts about a woman saying "I love you" first? same principle? I've heard people say women know they're in love before men do, so the woman saying it first could overwhelm a man. thoughts?

oh man. there is absolutely no way for me to know if you should say this or not. i know i waited for my now-husband to say it, and i think half of that came from having several past failed relationships where i had said it first and half just from purely a personal romantic ideal standpoint. but by no means does “a woman saying it first” mean you’re bound for destruction. i know plenty of women who say it first and are now happily married.

honestly? go with your gut on this. if you’ve been together for awhile and you think the health/commitment/depth of the relationship is appropriate, go for it. and look, if you’ve been dating a guy for a year and you say i love you and he doesn’t say i love you back? there may be some serious, serious issues. so it might be good to figure that part out earlier (month 1-6, depending on the relationship) than later (a year into it.) you don’t want to be the girl who has been waiting two years for her boyfriend to say i love you only to realize that he never will.