It’s super challenging. Our situation is a little different than normal since we have been traveling 24/7 though, for sure. If we were spending the night together at my apartment, we probably wouldn’t be able to manage not having sex.
(I joke that the #1 way to have the least amount of alone time with a significant other is take a roadtrip & stay at strangers’ houses the entire time, haha)
Everyone has what they can handle and what they can’t. And everyone has what’s okay for them and what isn’t. In the end, it’s not the rules you keep that keep you ‘safe,’ but the strength & health of your heart. If you are having trouble sticking with the physical boundaries because of spending the night together, make a rule about not spending the night. AND take the struggle straight to God, along with your significant other. I’ve found that I haven’t been able to do it without submitting my heart to what God wants repeatedly, otherwise “what I want” ends up becoming a priority & I loosen up what we decided was okay and what wasn’t.
Also, keep the end goal in sight! It’s hard to abstain from sex just because you have to, because then you focus on what you want but can’t have. Focus on your heart, his heart, & throw your energy into moving the relationship along in all the OTHER ways so as to position yourself for marriage. Sex is a natural drive for the pursuit of maturity, so long as we harness it properly, don’t idolize it, & submit it to God.
I KNOW RIGHT. adorablest ever.
hm. i just have a heart for it! it’s not so much that ‘marriage’ means so much to me, it’s that love with commitment means a lot to me. taking it a step farther, sex within commitment means a lot to me.
marriage isn’t for everyone, and the right age for it varies wildly depending on the person.
the good women project is about women, not about marriage - but relationships play a huge role in both men & women’s lives, so marriage ends up being a heavy topic on the site.
best: fighting through wanting to sleep with him & adjusting to having a relationship without sex - and then realizing AFTER i get through it how our love can stand on it’s own two feet & how much closer i’ve gotten to him without sex.
worst? not really worst, just hardest: having other people doubt us, or taking things too far and having to sit down and have honest conversations about ourselves.
the truth. i have to remind myself of who i am according to god, because of jesus. sometimes what i feel isn’t true - and i feel that way because of lies that are whispered in my ear, or lies i tell myself, or just a straight up bad day. making the mental decision to fight for truth & forcing myself to tell someone how i’m feeling so they can encourage me in who i really am and how god really views me.
yes i am!
AW yes of course! the address is:
max & lauren, c/o morrison family, 8547 east arapahoe road, suite j 195, greenwood village, co 80112
wow, what a gift it is to hear this. so much love.
love: to put another above yourself
grace: giving good things despite what is deserved
compassion: attention to another’s pain